oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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