Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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