I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
