dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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