I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
