I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
where am i from again
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize