last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
