using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
