margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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