Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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