dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
