I think I died a long time ago.
i just had sex bonerless
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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