and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
