Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
