I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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