Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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