Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Text me some of your sweat
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
