I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Small penises have feelings too.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
