I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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