Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
