My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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