if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
