I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize