What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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