from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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