the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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