2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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