she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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