Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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