listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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