I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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