what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
