I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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