Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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