As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
