respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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