dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize