No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
