Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
