Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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