Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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