it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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