Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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