when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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