she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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