I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
