You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize