i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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