Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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