i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
