Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
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I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD