Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

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  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11418) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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  (217): i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college. http://tfl.nu/qid3
  Replies (8) Good night (3549) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

  (971): View more from Oregon

  it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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  (971): one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull. (706): i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer... (971): it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible. http://tfl.nu/efvs
  Replies (9) Good night (4073) Bad night (812)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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  (360): Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building. http://tfl.nu/uuvc
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (2533) Order T-Shirt
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  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2694) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up

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  (618): She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up http://tfl.nu/rljs
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (2200) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?

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  (405): All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/wsyz
  Replies (12) Good night (2231) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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  (405): Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card? http://tfl.nu/2f9h
  Replies (8) Good night (1669) Bad night (847)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.

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  (757): almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight. http://tfl.nu/a50k
  Replies (7) Good night (2817) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.

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  (503): I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work. http://tfl.nu/c4w1
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.

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  (540): He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room. http://tfl.nu/7y89
  Replies (3) Good night (1362) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!

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  (607): Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?! http://tfl.nu/6znz
  Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (685) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Can I get that on a shirt

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  (205): No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her. (1-205): Can I get that on a shirt http://tfl.nu/a8yc
  Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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  (904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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