6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
