i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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