So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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