i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
